Like the Wind (Short Story)

We stopped at Wal*Mart on the premise that it’s a better place to kill time than the old, lame shopping mall that features a K*Mart and a JCPenney’s. There’d be more people and color at Wal*Mart. There was.

We were killing time because we still had three hours before the start of the movie.

For the movie, at Wal*Mart, I bought candy - lots of it. 100 Grand, Kit Kat, Swedish Fish, Junior Mints, and Sour Patch Kids. Needless to say, it was a good movie.

I looked for the shortest checkout line - now, I’m not sure why since we still had a good 45 minutes before the start of the movie - and the girl who checked me out happened to be pretty. She showed off her cleavage. Sometimes I don't prefer girls who do that, but it seemed to be out of desperateness for love rather than a desperateness for attention.

When the usual Wal*Mart checkout line greetings occurred, her eyes grabbed mine for a second an then let them go. It was similar to a magnet sweeping over a coin that is barely too heavy to stick. That eye-grab, along with the cleavage, made it seem to me as though she was communicating, “look, I’m a typical college sorority girl (who, a couple years ago loved ass hole guys), but I’m so sick of douche bags, so please like me.”

At that point - before it, I just looked at her as a girl - I wanted her.

After the movie, I was riding home on the interstate in my friend’s car. We had all the windows down because his A/C was broken. Going 85 miles per hour with windows down is kind of harsh, but I decided to make the best of it and stick my head out the window. The blowing wind kissed every part of my face simultaneously, exactly as I was wishing to kiss every part of the Wal*Mart checkout girl’s.

I was hopeless though. I knew her name was Diana from her name tag, but that was it. Still, the first thing I did when I got home was go to Facebook in hopes of some miracle. I thought, “Maybe she remembered my name from my credit card,” with doubt.

Nope, no new friend requests. Desperate, I typed “Diana Walmart” into the Facebook search bar.

I know that may be hard to believe. You’re probably thinking, “who the *iretr*** would do that?”

Well, I’ve been lonely lately. Give me a break. Actually, no need to give me a break, I still have some Kit Kat left over from the movie. I know I’m not the tastiest looking hunk of meat on this carnivorous planet, so when a girl’s eyes grab mine like hers did, I leap.

“Diana Walmart” actually worked. She was the very top result. Facebook is creepy like that. I request her friendship. I’m creepy like that. She accepted my request right away.
I sent her a message explaining the whole situation.

Her reply was basically, “I get friend requests from guys I don’t know all the time. Don’t worry, I didn’t think it was creepy. Thanks!”

That’s all she wrote.

“Okay, sweet.”